In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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