I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
