I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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