Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
