Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
