so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
