Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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