And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
