the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I believe in your delicious
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
