I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
