That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
