she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
