I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
