You're completely useless in the revolution.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize