you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
