Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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