My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
