Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
