i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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