Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
