this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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