have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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