Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
