The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
