More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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