North Korea, Best Korea!
I just pynch a tree in the face
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
