So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
