we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
