Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
