ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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