I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
