ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
