Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
