Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
