his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
