what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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