she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
