matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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