absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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