Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
