I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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