I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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