atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
