you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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