You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
