If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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