I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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