I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Randomize
