No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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