i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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