I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize