U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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