I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
