somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
