what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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