Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
