I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
