I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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