In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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