if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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