sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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