I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize