MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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